


Secrets should never be shared ~ A Logicality story

by abrecalledcheese



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gay, M/M, Prinxiety - Freeform, TW: Domestic Abuse, TW: Violence, World War II, logicality - Freeform, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrecalledcheese/pseuds/abrecalledcheese
Summary: “The course of true love never did run smooth.”Such a phrase couldn’t have been more applicable to the love life of Patton and Logan: two gay men in 1930s Britain.Constantly tangled in the perils of the world, they’ll have to wade through thick and thin, all for the sake of love and with war on the horizon, they’ll quickly learn why some secrets should never be shared.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

All was finally quiet. 

Logan sighed as the noise in the field started to die down and silence started to settle around him. He was always one to be reticent and favoured calmness and order, but unfortunately it wasn’t able to last long, since he glanced at his watch and realised it was 10 minutes until his next lesson. Closing his book and placing it neatly back into his bag, Logan started to make his way back to his next lesson.

A starling flew overhead, darting from tree to tree and singing a little tune as Logan looked up just in time to see it speed by. The sky that day was calming and comforting and the wind, merely a gentle breeze that kept him cool from the heating sun above. Clouds were spread out evenly across the blue blanket of the earth, like jam on toast, and, together with the verdant fields, the scenery was pleasantly picturesque.

As he stepped back into the stone-cold corridors of the school, Logan retained his usual stoic expression, holding the front strap of his bag as he walked. A small number of heads turned his way, mainly those in the younger years, who were most likely intrigued by his emotionless facade as he travelled down the hallway.

Logan’s stern reputation circulated around the school ever since he had first arrived there. Pupils were either too scared or awkward to try and strike up a conversation with him, and not even the bullies bothered with him, since they had tried once, but were quickly shut down; Logan knew how to stand his ground better than anyone thought.

Friends didn’t concern him that much anyway. He saw them as a waste of time and a distraction from what he believed truly mattered in life: knowledge. All Logan wanted to focus and strive for in life was his education and to learn as much as he could of the world around him. 

Science went too quickly for his final lesson of the day so he decided to head to the library; he could always feel satisfied there. It was always quiet too, giving Logan an opportunity to clear his head.

As he made his way to the library, Logan read a book while he walked. It was his mother’s trait that he picked up and although she constantly used to scold him for doing so, he couldn’t help but do it. Having a nose stuck in a book was just too addicting.

Unfortunately, this led to a pair of heads colliding - one of them travelling at a quicker speed. When they hit, Logan’s book dropped to the floor, as did he and the other student.

“Ow,” he grunted as he lightly held his throbbing head before opening his eyes to see who he had bumped into. The boy was on the ground opposite him, also rubbing his head, but upon seeing him, Logan felt his heartbeat speed up.

He was… adorable to say the least. He had curly, golden bronze locks that fell perfectly over a pair of round, silver glasses frames and freckles that were dusted across his nose somehow accentuated his beautiful baby blue eyes that peeked through his scrunched eyelids. As he looked closer, Logan noticed that there were some freckles dotted on his hands as well.

His face started heating up and his eyes unconsciously widened slightly and when the boy raised his head, Logan promptly looked away. The other student got up first, walking over to him.

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled with a small smile, holding out a hand, which Logan gingerly took. The boy’s touch was soft and comforting, much like his grin and when he was standing upright again, Logan held onto his hand a little longer than he had intended to.

The student noticed however, and he blushed slightly and smiled awkwardly. “Um, you can let go of my hand now.” Instantly, Logan retracted his hand and busily brushed himself off.  
“Apologies.”

Noticing his book still on the floor, Logan bent down to pick it up. But the other student reached for it at the same time and they bumped heads again midway down.

“Sorry,” they said at the same time, smiling at each other briefly, before Logan leant down a little farther and retrieved the book.

The two students stared at each other for a few seconds before the other boy excused himself, dashing past him. Logan watched him as he hurried away, unable to take his eyes off him until he was out of view; an unconscious small smile appeared on his face, but when the pupils around him noticed it, it immediately faltered.

Straightening his tie and readjusting his glasses, Logan continued on his journey to the library. Except when he got there, he was barely able to focus on anything he tried to read. For the first time ever, the books and stories he was reading failed to interest him. His thoughts were occupied solely by that boy he had bumped into in the hallway.

Glancing out the window, Logan spotted him in the fields on the grass, also reading a book. Whatever it was, it seemed to interest him a great deal since he was invested in the pages, contrasting to Logan’s situation. 

Watching him intently, Logan smiled softly when he saw that he had stuck his tongue out whilst reading.  
‘Adorable,’ he thought, but instantly caught himself. He sat upright, realising he had been slouching the whole time and shook the notions out.

Realising that there wasn’t any point in being there anymore, Logan returned the book he had back to its shelf and left the library, starting to make his way back home.

As he walked past the field, he stole a glance at the boy, who was still there and still engrossed in his book. Logan couldn’t help but smile at him; his cheeriness was simply too infectious and for the first time in forever, he exited the school gates with a skip and a grin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Domestic abuse

Logan’s little grin remained on his face all the while he walked home. It was instantly erased however, by the sound of a glass bottle shattering from inside the house. Turning the handle, Logan took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside.

“LOGAN!” his father barked, making his son flinch, though tried to keep himself composed as best as he could, even when he was grabbed by the collar and yanked off the floor. “You came home late. Where the bloody hell were you?” he snarled.

The overwhelming stench of his father’s alcoholic breath almost knocked Logan out and his slipshod appearance only worsened his state.

“I- I was in the library. I just had to return a couple of books from my previous lessons,” he managed to say as clearly as he could.

“And that took you one and a half hours?!” growled his father and for a second Logan genuinely considered telling him about Patton, but only a madman would do such a thing, especially in his current situation.

“Then I got caught up.”

“By what?!”

“...Books. Like always.” Logan bit his lip, hoping and praying that it was convincing enough. It also wasn’t entirely a lie, so he couldn’t exactly be punished for it. His father released him, a sullen expression still painted on his misfortune-ridden face as he turned and walked away, grabbing a bottle from the table.

Brushing himself off and straightening his shirt, necktie and glasses, Logan scowled as he headed back up the stairs, but just before he went, Logan managed to hear him mumble,  
“Just like your mother.”

Obviously, his father had no intention of him hearing it, but Logan did and he put up no resistance to the tears that pricked at his eyes, then fell down his cheeks. Now that his father was out of view, Logan allowed himself to mutely cry as he carried his belongings up to his room and unpacked the items he needed to take out from his school bag.

Eventually, his emotions numbed and froze like ice and when he had completed his homework, he gazed out the window. Memories of his mother flashed through his mind for a minute, for a second he even smiled, but it was swiftly knocked down by the reminders of what had happened that day… and the many months before.

Today Logan was lucky that he had slipped away unharmed - physically anyway - other days were not so bright. But he didn’t let anyone know. No one could know anyway, or even care; he had no friends and no shoulder to lean on.

So he buried himself in his books to escape, even if he believed that there would truly never be a way out.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, after school, Logan returned to the library. It and the books housed in it were his escape from his reality and one of the few things that gave him hope for the future. As he strolled through the endless aisles of bookshelves, looking for a novel - preferably an Agatha Christie one - he trailed his finger and his eyes along the books.

But, once more this led to a crash between two heads.

Bump!

Stumbling back, Logan rubbed his hanging head.

“We really should stop bumping into each other like this,” said a shy, quiet voice. Recognising it, Logan’s head immediately shot up, his eyes widening upon seeing the person.

“You,” he whispered.

“Haha, me,” the boy replied with a chuckle and smile, making Logan’s heart quicken.

“Apologies. I should keep a better eye out on where I am walking.” He adjusted his glasses, but as he looked down, he noticed a book on the floor. Assuming that it was the other boy’s, Logan picked up and handed it back to him.

“Greek Mythology?”

“Thank you and yeah. I’ve always loved ancient history, especially these legends and stories. All these gods, goddesses and stories; they’ve always fascinated me, ever since I was young,” the boy said, grinning as he flipped through the pages. Logan listened and smiled softly as he talked. Then, he looked up, closed the book and held out a hand.

“My name’s Patton. Patton Easter,” he said cheerfully and Logan shook his hand.

“Logan,” he answered, cracking a small smile. At that, Patton seemed to be taken back a bit and he stared curiously at the boy opposite him.

“You’re the Logan?” he asked, a little louder than he had intended and quickly hushed himself to avoid attracting any unnecessary attention. Clutching the book close to his chest, Patton gazed up at Logan, whose expression still remained unreadable. “Logan Gallagher?”

“I fail to understand what you’re implying by ‘the Logan’, but yes. I am ‘the Logan’, so to speak.”

Chuckling quietly, Patton looked down, a few of his caramel curls falling with his eyes. “Your reputation precedes you. Although I have to say, you’re nothing like they said you were.”

“What did they say about me?” Logan inquired, tilting his head slightly, genuinely intrigued. He was aware of the speculations about him circling around the school, though he had never actually heard any of them himself. He was always far too busy focusing on his work, that he had no time for petty gossip.

“Quite a lot of things actually. There are many rumours about you, but it’s best that I don’t tell you.” Patton laughed awkwardly, lowering the book from his chest and relaxing his shoulders. “But the most common subject talked about you, is how you never show emotions.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Some people think there’s something wrong in your head, others think that you might have alexithymia. Do you know what that is?”

Logan nodded. “I do, yes,” he replied blankly.

“There’s even a joke going round that you might be an android or a robot.” Though Logan expected him to laugh at the thought, Patton didn’t and he instead appeared saddened and, dare he assumed, annoyed by it.

There was a beat of silence, before Logan looked down, then back up at Patton, the tiniest hint of sympathy glistening in his eye. “What do you say about me?” His tone was gentle, like a human touch on a rose petal, and Patton looked up, quite surprised at the tenderness of Logan’s rumoured-to-be-cold voice.

“I… I don’t say anything about you. I don’t believe any of the rumours because you can’t judge a person based on other people’s opinions or thoughts on them. What you hear comes from everyone, but that one person who you’re being told about. I think it’s unfair that you’ve had all these allegations created about you. Because of them, everyone seems to be anxious to approach you.” 

There was a long moment of silence between them again, as Patton’s words sank in. In truth, Logan was completely taken aback by what he had said, and he never previously considered people’s thoughts about him. He never cared before, but for some reason, now he did, but specifically Patton’s opinion on him. Taking in a breath, Logan bit his lip, then hesitantly asked one more question.

“Then how about… what do you think about me?”

Patton continued to stare at the floor, contemplating how to word his answer, then met Logan’s eyes.

“I think that you’re a dark horse.” Suddenly Logan felt a burning blush creep up his neck; he was not expecting that answer at all. “I think that you’re nothing like they said you were and I think that, if you were to be given the chance, you’d be a lovely friend,” replied Patton with a kind smile.

Unconsciously, Logan then started grinning and Patton lit up.

“Hold on a second! Did I just make the Logan Gallagher smile? Have I been the chosen one who managed to crack the code?” he said jokingly and Logan rolled his eyes.

“Savour that moment, for it won’t be happening again any time soon,” answered Logan, adjusting his glasses and reapplying his blank mask. Patton giggled.

HIs eyes flickering to the clock, Logan then realised that he had to get home. He didn’t want to get tangled in the same situation the day prior.

“Apologies Patton. I’d love to keep talking with you, but I need to be heading home now.” Hastily, but not too quickly, Logan returned the books he had and retrieved his bag.

“Um, can I walk? With you?” Patton’s juvenile voice chimed. “Only up to the gate of course because I’ll have to go my separate way to my own home.”

Smiling gently, Logan nodded. “Your company would be satisfactory, Patton.” The bubbly boy giggled then quickly got his bag and his blazer and started walking by Logan’s side.

When they finally arrived at the gate and at the junction of their paths headed home, Logan turned to Patton. “I suppose this is where we depart. Until tomorrow. Friends?” He held out his hand, which Patton happily shook.

“Friends.”


	4. Chapter 4

As Logan walked from his class to the fields for his lunch break, he held a certain book in his hand. He had gone to the library shortly before and borrowed it from one of the shelves in the history section, close to where he and Patton had met again yesterday.

Though he wanted to, Logan refrained from reading it as he walked; he didn’t want to bump into Patton again, subsequently hurting the bubbly student as well as himself. He thought he would sit by the tree near the very back and end of the field, where he wouldn’t be disturbed and where it was the most quiet in the school.

That day was cloudier than regular, though the sun could still just about be seen peeking through the transparency of the grey blanket above. However as he travelled along the concrete path, Logan noticed Patton sitting by another tree nearby. No one was with him and the only things accompanying him in the grass were a few daisies and buttercups scattered around him.

Patton wasn’t doing anything either. He had his eyes closed and a gentle breeze played with his hair as he rested peacefully on the bark; he seemed to be on the brink of sleep, but hadn’t quite fallen into the abyss.

Hesitantly, Logan approached him, and as soon as he heard soft movement in the grass, Patton opened his eyes. He instantly smiled upon seeing him.

“Logan! Hi,” he greeted as he pushed himself up, sitting more upright.

“Greetings Patton.”

“It’s nice to see you again,” Patton said cheerfully, watching Logan as he sat beside him.

“Likewise. I saw you here alone and figured you needed some company,” said Logan with a kind smile, their eyes meeting. 

“I, uh, I did,” replied Patton, looking down bashfully to hide his blush. Then he looked back up again and met Logan’s deep dark chocolate eyes. “Thank you.”

Now it was Logan’s turn to blush, as he looked away and off into the distance, just anywhere but at Patton. His gaze followed a couple of students walking across the field, then to a small group sitting with each other and presumably joking around as they were laughing. However, he didn’t notice Patton staring at him the whole time, taking in his gorgeous and attractive looks, his sharp, angular features, his satin tone skin, his perfectly pink-tinted lips…

To distract and control himself, Patton swiftly looked down and away, but caught sight of a book underneath Logan’s hand. Looking at it closer, Patton realised it was a book on Greek Mythology and he tilted his head a little.

“Hey Logan?” Logan turned his head. “What’s that?” Patton asked, pointing at the object under Logan’s palm.

“Oh,” he answered, looking down and picking it up. “It’s a uh- a book on Greek mythology.”

“Yeah I can see that.” Patton tilted his head further to the side. “Why do you have it?”

“Well the most obvious and reasonable answer is because I wanted to learn about it,” Logan replied, shrugging innocently. In response, Patton hummed, smirked and narrowed his eyes, having a hunch that he knew why, but deciding not to push it for now.

“Alright,” he said, then returned to resting on the tree and staring out across the field, and Logan did the same. Patton sighed, a small smile appearing on his face as he took the school scenery in.

“I like it when it’s like this,” he said, causing Logan to look to him. “When it’s quiet, but not silent and there’s noise, but it isn’t loud. You know what I mean? Though saying that, I’ve never really been fond of complete silence so…”

“I am, a lot. Because the rare times I get to experience it are mainly at school,” Logan told, not intending for Patton to hear, but he did, and the curly-haired student turned to him curiously.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked softly, not wanting to come across as nosy. Sighing, Logan hung his head and stared at the ground. His eyes darted from one grass strand to another within his vicinity and his eyebrows furrowed as Patton waited patiently for a response.

“I-” Logan started and Patton tilted his head a bit in anticipation. “I’m… I’m sure you don’t want to know.” Looking away, Logan cleared throat, attempting to steer away from the subject.

Until he felt a cordial touch rest on his shoulder.

“I’m willing to listen,” he heard a comforting voice say to him. Turning his head, Logan first looked at the freckled hand near face, then met Patton’s gaze.

Something about the way he looked at him, the way Patton spoke, the way he moved, the way he acted around Logan made him feel at ease and relaxed his tense posture and toppled his walls. Warmth and compassion radiated from his touch, making Logan feel something that he hadn’t felt in years. And he had forgotten how much he missed it.

“I don’t get to experience the quiet or silence a lot because… there’s a lot of noise in my home.”

Confused, Patton dared to dig a little deeper. “Do you mind telling me why?”

Logan sighed. “Because my dad’s an alcoholic.”

There was a moment of silence between them. And during that silence, Logan gazed sadly at the dirt, a small portion of him waiting anxiously for Patton’s reaction.

“Logan I’m… I’m so sorry,” he eventually said sympathetically.

“What are you apologising for? It’s not your fault.”

“But no one deserves to deal with their parental figures rejecting them. Especially in such a damaging way.” Patton’s hand then gingerly travelled from Logan’s shoulder to his wrist, inches away from his hand. Glancing at it, Logan resisted the urge to reach it and hold it himself, but he didn’t need to, because Patton took it himself. He softly gripped Logan’s hand and offered a kind smile to him, which Logan happily returned. 

After a few seconds, Patton then stood up and held out a hand for Logan to take, which he did and got back on his feet too, taking the book with him.

“Where are we going?” he questioned as Patton started to pull him away from the tree and nearer to the back of the field. Glancing at his watch momentarily, Patton nodded then looked to Logan with a smirk.

“You’ll see.”


	5. Chapter 5

Pulling Logan by the hand, Patton walked over to the very back of the field, where all the leafy walls of bushes and shrubs separated the school from the outside. Though he usually sat near the back around this area during lunch, Logan had never really gone to the very end, so this was a new experience for him.

As they reached the bushes, Patton looked around for a moment, then pushed back a few branches. He let go of Logan so he could use his other arm to wade through the leaves and suddenly he disappeared behind them. Logan’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he waited for Patton to return… but he didn’t.

“Patton?” he whispered and suddenly Patton’s face peeked through the leaves.

“Come on!” the bubbly student beckoned excitedly, holding his hand again and he pulled Logan through.

Due to the sticks and branches slapping him as travelled through, Logan squinted his eyes and shielded himself with his free arm. When he felt like he was in the open again, he slowly reopened them and his jaw dropped slightly at the sight.

Before him was a round clearing of grass and the sun shone through the tree leaves which sheltered them from above. It looked like this small area of the school was made personally for him and Patton where no one else could intervene or interrupt them, due to the shrubs at the entrance which posed as a door.

“Patton, what is this place?” Logan asked.

“It’s my secret little corner of the world,” answered Patton with a juvenile smile, holding his ankles in the middle of his cross-legged position. “I accidentally discovered it when I saw something peeking through the bushes here. I pushed through a few branches and found this green patch of grass and everything was just so… beautiful.”

And beautiful it really was.

Coming over to sit next to Patton, Logan smiled at him and looked around, still in a bit of shock that he had never seen this place before. Then all of a sudden he felt a head fall onto his shoulder. A burning blush creeped up Logan’s neck as he looked down at Patton’s caramel curls, so fluffy and soft. Suddenly his heart lurched as he remembered the way he used to do this with his mother. 

When he was younger, he would lay on her shoulder as she would cradle him to sleep, stroking his hair and singing lullabies in his ear. His father would join them whenever he could and when he did, he would either stun him out of sleep with a tickle attack or rub his back and aid his mother into sending him to dreamland. Those were the good times.

He desperately tried to choke back tears from the memories as they started to well up in his eyes, but it was no use. They fell and Logan accidentally let out a quiet sob, causing Patton to immediately jolt up and look at him.

“Logan? What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned and worried.

“Apologies Patton. The way you were laying on my shoulder caused me to reminisce about my childhood… and my mother.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Logan interrupted, trying to smile as best as he could through tears. “I liked the feeling.”

Carefully, Patton reached up and wiped a couple tears from his cheeks and Logan gasped quietly at the contact. No one had touched him like that in years and all of sudden he felt like his mother was holding him again. Another single tear fell as he stared at Patton, the other boy gazing back affectionately at him. His shocked expression then melted into a smile.

“Thank you,” Logan whispered, holding Patton’s hand by his cheek. And when he lowered it, he laced their fingers together. Looking down at their hands, Patton blushed and smiled bashfully.

“You’re welcome Logan. Do you mind if I lean on you again?” he inquired. Logan shook his head in response and Patton returned to the position they were in before. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching the leaves gently bounce with the wind and hearing the distant laughter coming from the other students in the school.

“What was she like? Your mother?” Patton asked quietly after a minute. Smiling to himself, Logan recalled pictures from his memory of what she looked like.

“She was… the most loving mother ever. She was kind, gracious, sweet, caring and she never allowed a bad moment to ruin my day. She somehow always found a way to put a smile on my face whenever I was sad and lifted me up when I was drowning in my lows,” he explained and Patton listened intently, feeling the joy and happiness from the memories as well as grief rub off on him. He could hear the pain and longing in Logan’s tone and he could tell how much he missed her.

“She and my father used to dance around the living room together, and I would watch them and she would invite me into their dance. When I was younger, obviously I struggled with it, but as I grew older, she genuinely helped me, and my father even joked that he was afraid I would one day take his place. She had a grace about her wherever she moved and my father used to tell me stories of how men would swoon over her but he seemed to be the only one who didn’t. Yet, he was the man she fell for,” Logan laughed softly at the thought and Patton gazed at him sympathetically. Then Logan looked up and stared into his blue marbles.

“She had your eyes.” At that Patton blushed a deep shade of red, flattered that Logan saw a piece of someone he cared deeply about in him.

“What was her name?” he asked. Logan looked away with a sad smile, allowing a brief moment of silence linger in the air.

“Catherine,” he answered. “Her name was Catherine.” Staring at him warmly, Patton softly took Logan’s hands in his and met his eyes.

“She sounds like the best mother ever,” he said, genuinely meaning every word and Logan could see that.

“Indeed she was.”

Suddenly, they heard the bell ring and started to leave. Logan got up and helped Patton up too, but when they were standing again, their hands never parted. The two boys walked side-by-side, hand-in-hand from the field back to the school, picking up their bags which they left on the tree beforehand along the way.

It wasn’t until they were near the students again that they, begrudgingly, let go of each other. But unfortunately, Patton and Logan had to go to different classrooms, so they had to part ways. Just before he left however, Logan called Patton back.

“Can I meet you again at the end of the day? By the gate?” he asked and Patton smiled in response.

“Of course. At the end of your lesson, I’ll be waiting there for you,” the bubbly student replied and Logan nodded. They stayed facing each other for a few more extended seconds and Logan could tell that Patton wanted to do something, but he just didn’t know what. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t have time to find out however because Patton then turned and walked away to his final lesson and Logan watched him go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Synopsis:  
> “The course of true love never did run smooth.” 
> 
> Such a phrase couldn’t have been more applicable to the love life of Patton and Logan: two gay men in 1930s Britain.
> 
> Constantly tangled in the perils of the world, they’ll have to wade through thick and thin, all for the sake of love and with war on the horizon, they’ll quickly learn why some secrets should never be shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Domestic abuse, depictions of violence and blood

And of course, there Patton was, true to his word and waiting where he said he would. Logan’s stern persona melted immediately upon seeing his bubbly friend. But something seemed off.

Before he saw Logan, Patton appeared sad and there was a gloomy aura about him. He was staring blankly at the ground, a tinge of misery in his eye and as still as stone. But when he noticed Logan approaching, Patton’s frown curled into a smile, though it looked almost forced.

“Patton, are you alright?” Logan asked. Patton grinned and chuckled.

“Oh yeah I’m great!” he answered, yet Logan wasn’t completely convinced. He opened his mouth to say something, but was promptly cut off. “Come on, let’s head home!” So Logan, though he still wasn’t fully persuaded by Patton’s cheery tone, shrugged it off and started walking by his side.

When they were about to part ways again, Logan realised that Patton wasn’t going down the route he normally took to go home. A feeling poked at Logan and compelled him to worry about Patton, seeing how closed off the lane was and how dangerous it could be walking alone.

“Patton?” Logan said all of sudden, surprising himself. It was like his mouth had gained a mind of its own in that moment. “Uh, you aren’t going down the usual path you usually take?”

Glancing down at the lane, Patton grinned, his heart fluttering at the fact that Logan was concerned about his safety. “I need to head to the shops for a few things my mum asked me to get. Afterwards, I’ll go straight home though; don’t worry about me.” But the problem was, Logan couldn’t help but worry.

“D-do you mind if I accompany you? You know because you don’t know what could jump out at you from the bushes and-”

“Logan.” Logan instantly stopped and Patton giggled. “Of course you can come!” And Logan jogged over and walked alongside, a smile painted across his face.

They talked and talked the whole way, about anything that came to mind. Their conversations flowed effortlessly and Logan felt more comfortable around Patton than he ever had with anyone else previously. And he hoped Patton felt the same way.

“Hey Lo?” Logan turned to him and smiled.

“Yes Patton?”

“Um, can I ask you something?” he asked in a small voice and Logan nodded. “Your father sounded like he was so caring when you were younger. What happened?”

For a second, Logan was quiet and Patton panicked seeing his solemn expression. “Oh no, Logan I’m sorry. I overstepped, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no Patton it’s ok. I don’t mind telling you,” Logan reassured with a comforting smile and Patton exhaled relievedly. “My father was a great, well-respected man. Though they never said so, I could tell his friends were jealous of the life he had and honestly I didn’t blame them. He had a well-paid job, a beautiful wife, a son, a loving family, a nice home and the future looked bright for us.”

Logan turned to Patton and smiled and the other boy grinned back, loving the bittersweet joy in Logan’s voice that leaked from his memories.

“But, when my mother fell ill, my father started to lose himself. He was fine at first, because there was still hope that she would recover, but she only got worse. Soon she couldn’t leave her bed and with her health visibly deteriorating, my father started getting more and more anxious and started neglecting his job… and his child.”

Patton’s eyes filled with sympathy. He expected Logan’s to start welling up with tears, but they didn’t and remained dry. He wanted to reach out and grab Logan’s arm, but something held him back. Maybe it was the fact that they were in a shop surrounded by people, or maybe it was the lack of emotion from Logan, or maybe something else. Either way, it was something.

“Then as the story goes, the mother dies, the father spirals out of control and the son is left amidst the mess they left behind.” Staring at the ground, Logan sighed glumly. Patton then immediately took his hand in his and squeezed it, not caring about anything but him in that moment. Logan looked up at him as Patton offered a kind, sad smile.

“No one deserves to go through that. I’m sorry that you did,” he said softly and Logan gazed at him longingly. From a simple hold of the hand, Patton was able to console Logan and make him feel safe and loved and warm, something only his mother was able to do before. He gripped onto Patton and stared at him, until a person walking by caused them to part. They smiled at each amusingly for a moment, before Patton went to the till, paid for his items and then left.

They continued talking on the way home, just about minor things and light topics to balance out the weighted conversation they’d had previously. Though he insisted otherwise, Patton walked Logan home, not wanting to end their time together as quickly.

“Thank you for accompanying me all the way Patton,” Logan said with a small smile. “If I may say so, I found our talks highly enjoyable.”

“That’s ok Logan,” Patton replied cheerfully, chuckling a little at the way Logan phrased his sentence. “I enjoyed them too. See you tomorrow?”

“Indeed.”

“Okay! Bye Logan!” Patton waved.

“Goodbye Patton,” Logan whispered when his friend was almost out of sight, before looking down shyly then making his way back into his house, smiling a bit as he stepped through the door.

As he closed it, he sighed, his mind reeling and sticking images of Patton in his mind like paper to glue. Logan continued to look at the floor, shaking his head at the sound of Patton’s giggles echoing in his ears. They sounded so real; it seemed like the bubbly boy was still there with him.

He started to walk up the stairs, until a slurred, hoarse voice made him freeze in his tracks.

“Who was that.”

Logan scrunched his face whilst his back was still to his father, then turned around and plastered a blank one.

“A friend,” he simply said, making his father look at him suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows. His expression slightly terrified Logan; he had seen this look many times before, but it had always managed to scare him half to death because it was a sign that everything in the situation to come would end up badly.

“Wwwwhat- what’s hisss name?” his father slurred. His inability to speak concerned Logan because this was the most drunk he had heard him ever be.

“Patton. Can I ask why you want to know?” Logan’s father stared at him for a long time, before dropping his head slightly and rubbing his eyes.

“I- I- I don’t waaaant you to beee around himmm,” he said weakly, causing something to spike in Logan which he tried to control but everything slipped out too soon before he could stop it. He clenched his fists and felt his face heat up.

“Why?!”

“Becaaauusse I sssaid sooo.”

“No Father! I need a proper explanation! Why have you all of a sudden become concerned with who I’m with? You never cared before so why do you care now?! Patton is my best friend and the only person I’ve felt comfortable with since Mother died! Can’t you understand-”

Without warning, Logan was pulled by the collar and thrown to the floor. 

It was all a blur and a violent flash. 

Logan’s head slammed into the floorboards as his glasses flew off to the sides. He looked up to see his father stomping over to him as he propped himself up on his elbows and braced himself for the worst, his heart pounding in his chest so loudly he could hear it in his ears and he thought it would burst out of his chest. Logan breathed rapidly, his eyes drowning in utter panic and horror, fear shooting through him as it froze him in place.

He prayed for anything to happen right now. He prayed for a tornado to rip through his house as he was slapped across the face. He prayed for a lightning bolt to strike through his roof as he was picked up roughly and thrown across the room, his back hitting the bottom of the stairs. He silently pleaded for the sky to rain fire as he coughed and sputtered and groaned in pain and wiped the drop of blood from below his nose. 

He begged the universe for anything, anything at all that would make this moment cease. Anything that would stop his stomach from being kicked brutally like a lion tearing apart its prey, his arms from being punched and bruised as he shielded himself from his father’s savage attacks and his hair being pulled so relentlessly hard that Logan was certain they’d be ripped from their roots.

An undecipherable clutter of words and letters were roared at him as he was hit. Because he was covering his ears in an attempt to protect his head, Logan only heard the booming voice of his father that petrified him, despite the fact that he couldn’t understand a single word that was yelled.

After several long, dreaded minutes, when it was finally over, Logan stayed lying helplessly on the hard, wooden floor, curled in on himself and clutching his stomach and covering his face with his other arm. His whole body ached all over, agony piercing through his muscles from his head, to his shoulders, to his arms, to his torso and to his legs a million times over. All his limbs felt like they had been torn off, yet still managed to hold together by a single, lifeless thread.

Logan tried to push himself up, but everything just hurt too much and he fell to the floor again. 

It wasn’t just his physical appearance that had been damaged, but everything inside as well. Logan’s father had never beat him so badly before. Logan didn’t recognise him anymore and now he seemed more of a stranger than a parental figure. Old memories of a devoted father seemed like cruel fantasies now and it was almost like someone had killed his mother’s husband and taken his place, living only to torture Logan, both emotionally and physically.

The young boy’s heart shattered as he watched his father through his blurry eyesight trudge across the living room to, presumably the kitchen, and tears started trickling down his dirty cheeks, wishing that his mother or Patton were there to hold him and wrap him in their sweet embrace and say that everything would be alright.

Shivering and broken on the wood, Logan held himself, imagining that it was Patton’s arms around him to offer him some sort of comfort and cried himself to sleep, endlessly wishing for the pain to just stop.

When would it ever stop?


End file.
